Gates Essay 7

Is there anything else you would like to tell us about that may help us evaluate your nomination, i.e., personal characteristics, obstacles you have overcome, etc.?

One issue that most people, whatever their age, face is their ethnicity, whether that issue is discrimination, racism or coping with who they are. I faced the same problem during the beginning of my junior year of high school, where there is only one percent non-Native American students and staff. There was no way to convince me that high school, college, or life had any meaning. There was no doubt in my mind that life was empty and bleak. Then one day in the ordinary, everyday class of Algebra II, when my friends and I were slacking off, I looked down at my hands. I believe that I have abnormally large hands that have a tendency to intrigue me and revolt me simultaneously. However, on this occasion I did not notice the size of my hands but that the skin on my palms was peeling. I know it’s a cliché but it really felt as if the clouds had parted in my life.

To fully understand this strange uplifting moment, I have to tell of five years prior to the hand incident. I was attending a small Christian school near my home for the wrong reasons. Mainly because childhood name-calling about my parents ethnicity and my skin color led me to this decision. While there I began to view things through a Christian point of view and I was not very polite or understanding about it. I began to criticize other religions, including my mother’s. My mother’s religion, therefore mine by birth, speaks of snakes as a bad omen. We are not allowed to watch snakes eat or touch them. During my self proclaimed revolt, I found the opportune moment to publicly put down my Navajo roots. It was on a field trip to the Phoenix Zoo that the moment came. A reptile caretaker was putting on a show to display the animals of the reptile house up close and personal. When one of his assistants walked by with a common garden snake, temptation was just too great. With a held breath for courage I eagerly thrust forth both of my hands and allowed the snake’s scales to glide against the skin of my palms. Afterwards, I had a strange feeling as if a crime had been committed and it had. When the group returned to the Navajo Reservation, I pushed the feeling down and proudly declared to all my adventure with the snake. I foolishly told my grandmother straight out what I had done and that I had done it on purpose. She and everyone else were shocked speechless by my open defiance of my culture. I was warned about the vaguely put, impending doom. When I asked what was to happen to me, for precautions sake, none would answer. A few months later, I noticed that my hands grew cold far too often and that my hands had unnatural peeling. It was not until several years later that I figured out that when the skin of my palms feels like that of a snake when they peel.

That day in the classroom, I remembered that I am Navajo. Despite the fair complexion of my skin and half Mexican, I am a Navajo. As a Navajo I will always have family wherever I go, be it family by blood or by clan, ergo I’ll never be alone. In my culture, family is very important and valued. I told my mother of the revelation a few weeks after the incident. She told me that a simple song from a medicine man would stop the peeling. I considered going through the singing but decided not to because this experience helped me to understand that though I am only half Navajo, I am still Navajo. This uplifting, strange yet sentimental moment has taught me to respect others and all things. The experience has also taught me not to convert just to fit in, that being different is not such a bad thing. But most importantly, this experience has taught me that I will always be a Navajo/Mexican. No matter what I think I am, I will always have my identity in this respect.
I have found a fraction of who I am in my childhood home the Navajo Reservation. Just as being Navajo is only apart of who I am as a whole person, I must find the rest of me all across my life. To truly find out who I am, I must place my self in circumstances that are outside of what I have experienced before. Going to a school where only one percent of the entire campus population is non-Native American, then going to a school where below one percent of the population is Native American is just the experience I need to grow as a person. Only then can I say with confidence what I am and only then will I know what I would do in an uncomfortable situation. By achieving this personal nirvana, I will be able to go back to the Navajo Reservation from which I came to help them discover their capabilities. My goal is to find out who I am before I help others make the same discovery about themselves. I believe that I can accomplish this goal with the help of a higher education.